Thursday, 2 November 2017

Err, no it wasn't!!

I'm totally fed up with all this sexual assault/inappropriate behaviour stuff by celebs/MPs/people in the public eye that's coming out lately.  The latest one, that MP (Michael Fallon?) who's just resigned, made a statement that really annoyed me....he said that behaviour that might have been acceptable in the past was no longer appropriate now.  Excuse me, but since when has touching up a woman against her wishes EVER been acceptable?  It hasn't and isn't, end of.  Some men are trying to brush it off as horseplay/high jinks, when the reality is they're having a grope - whether the woman wants it or not.

Now, this is my opinion, on my blog - I don't speak for everyone, it's just what I personally think.  

I think that years ago men did a lot of 'inappropriate' stuff, they've always done it and mostly got away with it.  And the reason for that, I think, is that years ago women didn't really have a voice.....it was the culture, norm, practise, whatever you want to call it, that men were the bosses, workers, ones in charge, and women were the little housewives and mothers staying home with pinnies on looking after the home and family, deferring to their husbands and not being expected to have an opinion (remember the unbelievably sexist TV adverts years ago when women were told not to worry their pretty little heads about things they knew nothing about?!).  It's taken decades for women to speak up and become equals and have the courage to say this happened to me years ago, and to now say No means No.  I think some men have been slow to realise that they simply can't get away with inappropriate behaviour anymore.

I also think there needs to be a distinction between sexual abuse and inappropriate behaviour - and again this is just MY opinion.  I realise that everyone is different and what one woman might find acceptable, another might not.  But in my book, what constitutes sexual assault is very different from merely inappropriate behaviour - to me, just putting their hand on a woman's knee or asking what colour knickers they've got on is just inappropriate and creepy, and should be easily dealt with by simply telling the bloke he's being a dickhead (or threatening to punch him in the face like that journalist did to Michael Fallon - well done her!).  Sexual assault is a whole different (and criminal) thing.

I do think as well that there is the danger of some men in the public eye being hounded and made the subject of a witchhunt.  Let's face it, some alleged 'victims' (male or female) might just want their 15 mins of fame, or have a financial motive.  

I also wonder what's the benefit or purpose of someone who was the victim of, let's say, a low level inappropriate behaviour, coming forward after a great number of years to talk about it.  Where does it get them?  What purpose does it serve?  I suppose it might help them to get it off their chests and perhaps close the book on something that has bothered them for years.  But, and again this is just my opinion, doesn't it just rake up things from the past and bring it all to the fore again and risk upsetting them all over again?

I'm sorry if all this upsets some people - as the current campaign slogan goes, #MeToo.  And that's all I am saying.



9 comments:

  1. Well said. I totally agree with everything you said regarding the different issues of assault versus inappropriate behavior.

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  2. Your post says exactly how I feel, in every respect. I, too, am sick of hearing daily of more accusations, yet knowing that some are false, some are inappropiate yet not sexual assault and some are downright unacceptable.
    I think that soon, men won't dare to sit against a woman on the bus, or work in a mixed gender office . . . . which smacks of the sort of segregation practised by some Middle Eastern countries.
    We are going backwards, aren't we? Remember schools that had separate doors for Girls and Boys?

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  3. Well said. I too think there needs to be a distinction between sexual abuse and inappropriate behaviour. I have experienced a different kind of abuse, and am just waiting to see what happens. I was bullied in the work place when I was a naive 17 year old in the 1970's.

    Julie

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  4. Never a truer word was spoken. I have to wonder at the reasons behind raking up something from years,if not decades, past. I have never been a victim, but then I have always avoided "iffy" situations. I used to go to concerts and saw many of the groups from the 70's live and their groupies as well. I wonder how many of those are waiting in the wings to denounce the stars of old.

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  5. I'm quite excited to see a change.
    I remember watching a short film an American woman had made recording all the heckling, cat calls and abuse she got while walking down a street in her native New York. At first I thought, what's the problem, that happens to me every day, too. Then it suddenly occurred to me - why should we just accept it? I'm 50 and since the age of 11 I've put up with kerb crawlers, wolf whistles, lewd comments and unwanted physical contact. Twenty years ago I was sexually assaulted on my way to work and when I reported it to the police the first question I was asked was "what were you wearing?"
    I wheeled the bin out the other day and a man propositioned me for sex - I suppose that would have been my fault, too.
    I worked in a male dominated industry for many years and I can give as good as I get - there's good natured banter on an equal level and there's being genuinely intimidated and too terrified to lose your job to speak out.
    Like you, I don't agree with people putting stuff out on social media rather than going down the correct legal channels but, in the States, there's a statute of limitation which means that crimes committed after a certain number of years can no longer be prosecuted so maybe the alleged victims feel its their only hope of retribution. x

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  6. I agree wholeheartedly with your opinion, my lovely.

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  7. Agree with every word. DH and I were discussing this issue at breakfast this morning.Catriona

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  8. well said, as a young women of the 60swei nothing,thinking it was n
    normal so me to. Lois Blake

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  9. I have just popped over from " Lovelygrey" after seeing your comment there. I absolutely agree with every word you have written here.....all my friends are of the same mind too !

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