Saturday, 24 June 2017

Weight problem Part 2

Wow, so many comments!  You all seem to understand very well how I'm feeling, that's so reassuring.  I think sometimes we do tend to think that we're the only one and that nobody else knows or understands how we feel, when the reality is that there are many, many others in the same position.  Several of you are also diabetic, or have other health problems that restrict exercising.  Some of you have lost weight - Sheila and Eleanor, 7 stones, blimey!!  That's amazing.

I suppose what's prompted me to talk about this weight/size issue is an incident that occurred a couple of weeks ago.  I was walking through the small shopping centre in town by myself (OH stayed in the car with Betty), wearing jeans and one of those cold shoulder tops which, if I'm honest, was a bit tight on me.  2 blokes in their late 20s I guess walked past - one of them stared at me and said something, quite loudly, then he and his mate both laughed.  I won't repeat what he said, but it was very insulting - a rude 'fattist' comment - and I was absolutely mortified, so embarrassed and upset I had to gulp back tears.  I didn't say anything to OH, having forced myself to breathe and calm down, but when we got home I immediately went upstairs and changed out of the top and haven't worn it since. 

Years ago I would probably have shrugged the comment off and not shown how much it hurt me, but over the past few years, since I've been going through the menopause, my confidence has taken a real nosedive.  There are plenty of big women who have the confidence to wear what they like and don't give a shit what anyone else thinks, and good for them, I admire them.  I used to be more like that, but not anymore, I just don't have that confidence anymore.  And it's for that reason that I wouldn't go swimming for exercise, like some of you have suggested.  Well, I'm not a very good swimmer anyway, but I just wouldn't be seen dead in a swimming costume in public.

So that comment, and the recent hot weather which made me feel so uncomfortable, have prompted me to change things.  None of my family or friends know exactly how I feel, although OH has a good idea and is supportive.  It's easier for me to say - well, write - it on my blog to you lot, than it is for me to talk about it face to face with people who know me.

Thank you so much for your supportive comments, it's so good to know there are people who understand.


  1. All I can say about people like that Sooze is that there is something sadly lacking in their own lives if they feel the need to try and make someone else miserable. I tend to pity them more than anything.

  2. Sooze, I'm overweight and have been since the age of 5 and feel exactly the same as you have described over your last few posts. I also suffer with arthritis which makes some exercise difficult. But I will go swimming despite what I look like, I just think
    Nobody knows me at the pool - so why should I worry about what anybody there thinks of me
    I feel so much better in myself when I go swimming, so I'm not going to let what someone else may think stop me from enjoying it and feeling better
    It's good for my health and it helps with the pain of arthritis
    I go when it's quiet during the day so there's not many in the pool
    I've been when it's just ladies and its been great because the other ladies there are feeling exactly the same and they chat to you....usually when I'm getting my breath back after swimming the first few lengths!!
    So, think about going - it's a little bit of exercise and it's enjoyable too - I wish you lots of luck with your weight loss - and takd no notice of those 2 lads - what goes around comes around Sooze - sorry I've gone on a bit xxx

  3. You are talking about it to people you know, we have just never met in real life. Off hand comments are so hurtful, why does anyone feel the need to say hurtful comments out loud. The two guys have no idea what your life is about, no one has perfect lives - if they say they have their are fooling themselves, we try and fit into categories which have no bearings to us as people. Real people and friend will love you for who you are, and that's what keeps me coming back to real your blog, you are a person I enjoy to know.

  4. Anyone who has ever struggled with weight issues will relate to your posts. As for the ignorant yobs, well I could think of lots of back-chat to them - but I'm not that rude - they're obviously missing some grey matter and manners suffice to say!! Keep on keeping on - enjoy those walks with Betty!

  5. What nasty people to make someone feel so bad. I know just how you feel and how it can eat away (sorry, no pun intended there) at your self esteem. I use a wheelchair and barely get any exercise so can sympathise with that too. You sound like you have your head in the right place to make changes and that's one of the hardest parts xx

  6. I am sorry to hear about the comment, makes my blood boil that people are so insensitive to others. Like you I find it easier to 'talk' about things through the blog, we are all here to support you, I admire you for saying what many others wouldn't.

  7. There are always the rude and insensitive ones who can not see beyond the end of their noses, if that far. Now that you have opened up to us, your friends and a ready made support group, you may find it a bit easier. I am going to post regular updates and be brutally honest. I hope that it will help me and others in the same place.


Thank you for your comments, I love reading them. I can't promise to always answer your individual comment, but will endeavour to always answer any questions you may have. Nasty comments WILL NOT be published.