Friday, 29 April 2016


Firstly today I want to answer a comment made on yesterday's blog.....Margaret commented on us having 3 freezers.  There are only the 2 of us here, although we do have visitors to stay sometimes.  We didn't plan on having 3, one of them (the chest freezer) was given to us by a neighbour who was moving out and was going to take it to the tip if we didn't want it - it works perfectly, she just didn't want it anymore.  We do, however, make good use of all three of them - we grow a lot of our own produce, lots and lots of soft fruit, apples, pears and plums and loads of veg, most of which I process and freeze.....we still have raspberries, rhubarb, leeks and carrots from last year in the freezer.  This is what we'd planned for when husband started cutting his hours (which he now does) and when he eventually retires in a couple of years' time.  Growing our own, as everyone knows, saves so much money. 

We also now buy meat in bulk from our local butcher.....for example, we buy half a lamb, and things like chicken thighs, mince, bacon, sausages, pork steaks we buy 3kg of at a time, or 4 whole chickens, say.  We do this for several reasons - we like to support our local butcher (who is lovely), the meat is all local so we're supporting local farmers, it's excellent quality and tastes so much better than the supermarket stuff, and - a big consideration - it's cheaper:  because we buy in bulk and we're regular customers, the butcher gives us a good discount on everything.  Plus we live out in the sticks, our nearest supermarket is a 16 mile round trip away, so I keep stocks of milk, bread, cheese etc in the freezers too.  If our local little lanes get flooded (they always do when we have heavy rain) then we know we've always got plenty of food in.

The tip about putting cardboard boxes in the bottom of the chest freezer is a good one, thank you Dc - I knew about filling up empty space with boxes, but wouldn't have thought to put them at the bottom!  Duh, and it makes so much sense!

Once again, thanks for all the comments. 

I've given up on that particular crochet pattern, I just couldn't get it to lie flat.  Have started on another one, it's one of Lucy's from Attic24 so I know it will be ok.  Today's job is to tidy up the dining room - we don't often sit in there to eat unless we have visitors, and it's become a bit of a dumping ground for stuff.

Thursday, 28 April 2016

Down to one....and a frustration

Well, I did the 2 jobs yesterday, and as a bonus cleaned the bathroom too (it certainly needed it).  Today I'm going to do a freezer inventory, which is a fairly big job.  We have 3 freezers - fridge freezer in the kitchen, plus a small chest freezer (which we were given) and under the worktop upright, both of those in the utility room.  The kitchen one is full, the upright nearly so, the chest one is half full.  That's the worst one though....being a chest freezer, you have to hoik everything out to see what's at the bottom.  I think this is the only job I can cope with today.

I started on the small craft project yesterday, it's a crochet one that really should only have taken a couple of hours to do.  However, I came across a problem, I think the pattern's wrong.  Think I've identified where it is, I reckon there are too many stitches in Row 4, it lies flat for the first 4 rows, then goes all sort of wrinkled and frilly after that.  I've followed the pattern exactly so am fairly sure I haven't got it wrong (I counted the stitches).  The only other possible explanation is that I've used a different yarn to the one in the pattern - I haven't got any of the cotton DK yarn they used and am using up oddments of acrylic DK from my stash, so perhaps it's just a case of the acrylic yarn being much stretchier than the cotton.  I'll have another look in my stash to see what else I've got, and have a play around later.  If it still doesn't work out, I've found another few patterns for similar things so might go with one of those instead.  I don't want to say too much about it right now, as it's destined to be a gift for someone (if I can get it right!!).

Thanks again for all your comments.....Sue in Suffolk and Kate Steeper - I'm amazed that you can say such positive and kind things to me when you both have such awful things going on in your lives!  Bless you both - well, bless you all.  Joy and Margaret - I've tried Kalms and Rescue Remedy Night drops (which were recommended to me by a friend) - the Kalms didn't work for me at all, sadly, the R/R Night drops did for a time, but don't seem to now.  I've never tried yoga, or yoga breathing, that might be something to investigate, thank you Nan. 

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

A plan

Thank you again for the lovely supportive and kind comments, they help a lot, there are some really nice people in this world (and not just arseholes!). 

I'm having a real problem at the mo with motivation....or rather, total lack of.  I have no interest in anything, the housework is going to pot, jobs are piling up and the place is looking untidy.  Meal planning has gone out the window, lately it's been a case of grabbing the first thing that comes to hand out of the freezer mid morning and just cooking it simply with whatever veggies we happen to have.  OH hasn't complained, bless him, he'll eat anything, but I know it's boring and it's got to stop, he deserves better.  I haven't even done any crocheting lately.

I know this apathy is the aftermath of the upset and it would be too easy to just let it carry on, and then it will just get harder and harder to get out of it without resorting to drugs (antidepressants I mean....I'm not planning on becoming a junkie!).  Well, I don't want to go down that route again - whilst antidepressants have helped me in the past, you have to be on them for so long, it's not a quick fix, and it takes months to come off them when you're better. 

So I've decided the best thing to do is to plan on doing just 2 jobs a day, and to make something interesting for our main meal.  I've had a couple of craft projects in mind for a while, they kept getting pushed back whilst the crocheted baby blankets took precedence.  Well, now I think it's time to put the baby blankets on the back burner and start on the crafty things.  One is quite small and shouldn't take long, the other will be more time consuming and fiddly.  So once I've done my 2 jobs for the day, I will reward myself by doing a bit of crafty stuff.

So today I'm going to sort out the toiletries storage (we have a set of drawers upstairs where we keep them, and it's all messy to the point where I don't even know what we've got), and vacuum downstairs.  Then I'll make smoked cod chowder for dinner this evening. 

I feel better just for deciding that.

Monday, 25 April 2016

Thank you

Thank you all so much for the comments, you've all been so kind and supportive, I've even had lovely emails from people who can't comment on the blog.  The irony is not lost on me that all this support and care has come from people who, by and large, don't even know me!  So-called friends and family (well, those closest to the one who upset me so much) have just blanked me.  Well, I guess that says it all.

Bless you, thank you again.

Saturday, 23 April 2016


I've been a lousy blogger recently, I know - hardly blogging myself, not commenting on other blogs, although I have tried to keep up with reading them.

Recent events have left me feeling rubbish - depressed....well, not depressed as such, more empty and numb, directionless, unsure of myself and what to do.  I know I'm being cryptic but I really don't want to go into all the details in public.  Suffice it to say that something happened which upset me terribly and really annoyed me.  I haven't done anything to resolve it as it upset me so much and I was also really offended by it, plus I don't feel I did anything wrong.  I did write a letter to one of the persons involved explaining how I felt and why I was taking a stand, but have had no reply whatsoever.  It was something that was bound to come to a head one day, it was entirely inevitable, but I really can't see how it can be resolved - well, not without burying my principles and feelings, and why the hell should I do that? 

We did go away on an impromptu short break last week, and really enjoyed it.  However, since we've come back I just don't know what to do with myself.  It's not like I haven't got anything to do - I have.....the whole house needs vacuuming, all the windows need cleaning, there's 2 piles of clean washing waiting to be put away, one of the freezers needs defrosting, I really need to do a freezer and larder inventory and a month's menu plan as I want to get into the habit of doing a big shop just once a month.  Plus I have 2 crochet baby blankets on the go, with 2 more completed but needing ends sewn in. 

But I just can't find the impetus to get on and do any of it. 

Wednesday, 13 April 2016


I've done exactly what disturbs me when other favourite bloggers do it - disappear without any explanation, sorry about that.  Something has happened which upset me greatly and I am struggling (without much success) to deal with it.  We are going away for a few days, I need to put distance and time between me and the problem before I can even begin to think about it again.

I will be back in due course.  Thank you for your patience.

Regards, Sooze.

Saturday, 2 April 2016

60 a day!

Well, that was the worst cold I've ever had in my whole life.  It was definitely a cold virus, not flu (I did have my flu shot back in October, as I do every year), but much more nasty than any normal cold.  I'm feeling much better, except for my's very tight, I'm quite breathless (the slightest exertion, even loading the washing machine, wears me out) and I'm wheezing like an old man on 60 fags a day.  (For the record, I gave up smoking 20 or more years ago).  My chest doesn't hurt at all - well, except if I have a huge coughing fit, which thankfully isn't often - it's just tight and wheezy.  Husband was the same, his has all worn off now and he feels fine so I'm hoping mine will too in a few more days.  Thank you all for your good wishes, they cheered me up.

My diet has gone out the window the past week or so, my appetite didn't disappear completely (as it would have done had it been flu), although I certainly didn't feel like eating much.  However, I just didn't fancy the meat and lots of veggies we've been used to eating on the Blood Sugar Diet....I just wanted old fashioned nursery comfort food, like cheesy pasta, shepherds pie, cheese sandwiches and tinned soup.  That's what Mum used to give us when we were poorly as children - Heinz tomato or cream of chicken soup and half a cheese sandwich cut in triangles, it was lovely.  Husband has done most of the cooking this week, bless him, as I didn't feel like it, he is a treasure.  Need to get back to eating lots of veggies bowels have gone into hibernation with the bland stodgy diet (you really wanted to know that, didn't you?!).

Going to try and catch up with some housework today....very slowly and with frequent breaks (and very little enthusiasm, haha).  I won't be too bothered though if it doesn't all get done.....I'm not exactly a shining example of a housewife anyway!